When I don't have words...

The late Senator Edward Kennedy, speaking about his brother Robert Kennedy, "Love is not an easy feeling to put into words. Nor is loyalty, or trust or joy. But he was all of these. He loved life completely and lived it intensely."

Robert Kennedy speaking about his father, Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr., "What it really all adds up to is love - not love as it is described with such facility in popular magazines, but the kind of love that is affection and respect, order, encouragement and support. Our awareness of this was an incalculable source of strength, and because real love is something unselfish and involves sacrifice and giving, we could not help but profit from it." 

From local photographer, Tara Whitney (on her Instagram feed, accompanied with the quote below), "There are things about my life that make me feel deeply alive, and grateful to be. They fit inside me right next to the things that hurt the most. Acknowledging them both, integrating them and giving them room and breath, has been what finally saved me from years of not living at all. If I can do anything at all with this space of mine, I would like to show that you can live a satisfying and beautiful life, even in the midst of emotional or physical pain." 

From Khalil Gibran, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." 

Today I am feeling the urge to write, but the words won't come. I've been collecting the quotes above this past week from different things that I've been reading.

What does love look like?

Ali and me in Minnesota, July 2013

My friend Ali is currently in Thailand doing mission work and just loving up on the people there. Ali is a seasoned traveler and missionary. When I saw her in July, I was delighted to hear all about her upcoming travels. Every time that Ali sets off for a new location, she blogs, chronicling her journeys and the amazing ways that God shows up. As I was reading her blog today, this question stood out to me:

I know my job in all of this. It's knowing that I am loved and It's knowing how to love. Asking the fabulous questions momma Heidi asked us while in Moz:

"What does love look like?"

I'm in a season of online dating, struggling with being single, and looking forward to eventually being a wife and a Mom. As soon as my eyes hit the words on the screen, I stopped and thought of all the ways I'm being loved during this season. Love looks like:

• Waking up to a text message from one of my dearest friends in New Jersey that immediately put at a smile on my face.
• PSL's from McDonalds, a trip to Hobby Lobby, and lots of chats with my second Mom.
• Taking care of me by spending the afternoon at the beach and reading.
• Turning my phone off before I go to bed.
• Skype date with two dear friends where we laugh, love and talk about the tough stuff.
• Saying no.
• Laughing so hard over dinner with the family that I almost fell out of the chair. Monty Python impersonations and Indian accents crack me up every single time.
• Tuesday work days at a nearby Starbucks.
• Learning how to knit.
• John Mayer, Mumford and Sons, and Phillip Phillips Pandora stations
• Going to bed early.

One of my goals this past summer was to be intentional in focusing on being grateful. As I write this list, I realize that a large part of my struggles the last few weeks was caused because I was choosing not to realize how much love there is in my life, no matter how it looks. 

It's 100 Million Little Things...

...that make me feel grateful. Lots of little things that to someone who doesn't know me would think are no big deal. Today I am feeling most grateful for one the kindest and most encouraging emails from a dear family friend, Slurpees from 7-11, new craft supplies, Amazon prime shipping, my second Mom asking me if I wanted to go get a pedicure after I had thought to myself yesterday how desperately I needed one, a phone call from another dear family friend (who is married to family friend above), bold colors, fresh peaches, the afternoon breeze, my iPhone which allows me to do just about anything from anywhere I want, the confidence that comes with knowing that the Lord is taking care of all the big things that I would normally be worried about.

It's days like this where I hope that I never stop being grateful for all the big and little things that bring me joy.

XO,

L

Weekend in Photos: Summer at Last

This weekend was super cruisy and tranquilo, the perfect start to summer!

Hanging out and watching The Next Food Network Star / 

Early evening walks & spotting the cutest cat / Sleeping in late / 

Verdana doors wide open with the cool breeze / Kitty cuddles / 

Reading all day and finishing an entire book in one weekend / 

Dinner with family and friends outside under the Super Moon / Staying up too late reading / 

Church & blessing sweet baby Novelle /  Iced Chai from Starbucks / Naps / 

Late night Dairy Queen run 

Sabbath+Ruth

This past weekend I stayed at the adopted parents house while they went to Pasadena overnight. I knew I was going to have a pretty quiet Saturday and was looking forward to it because even when I have quiet Saturday's, I still fill up my time with work tasks. This Saturday I tried something different. I promised myself that I was going to not turn on my laptop all day. I also wasn't going to do any work on Saturday. This is a huge deal for me as I always have something to do. So I slept in, played with the cats, read my Bible, napped. I let my mind and my body have a break. I still need to work on checking Facebook and Instagram less on my cell phone, but that's for another post.

I was determined to finish the book in the photo on Saturday. I've always loved reading, but over the last few years haven't had nearly as much free time to do so. I always have a stack of 5-10 books next to my bed and had been working on this one for about a month. Part of me kept telling myself to put it aside as it didn't seem to have much depth to it. But, I kept on. Ruth has been one of my fave women of the Bible since I was a little girl. When I was younger, I thought the book was cool because the main character shared her name with my godmother. As I got older, I admired Ruth's loyalty to Naomi and strived to embody that trait. This time I saw something different in Ruth's story. I saw a woman with unwavering faith and trust in her heavenly father. A woman who knew no better who had a childlike faith and trusted in God's provision. Through that trust, the Lord provided even more than Ruth could have imagined. I found myself convicted. I was reminded that the Lord is the creator and provider of all that I have. That I need to be more honest with Him because He already knows the desire of my heart. That I need to change my thoughts and my prayers to reflect more gratitude for what He has done and for what He is doing.

For that I am grateful.

Life In iPhone Photos

It's been a crazy week.

Last week started out super emotional because of this news.

Friday, I turned 24. My day started off with a fave drink from Starbucks, birthday call from Charissa and Andrew, lunch at CSUF with David, Wendy and Lars, shopping at Forever 21 with Wendy and then ended with dinner with Alex and the rest of the family at Macaroni Grill.

Saturday evening, Wendy and I went to the women's conference at our old church for a few hours. We didn't plan on both of us wearing gray, but we often match without planning it.

Sunday was church and Blackberry Bush. Always a happy place.

Monday started with coffee with my friend Lauren. We went to middle school together and reconnected over Facebook. I love the sweet friendship we have. The evening saw the first of two trips to the pumpkin patch.

Yesterday's highlight was breakfast and window shopping downtown with another dear girlfriend, Janelle.

Today was our weekly women's group followed by lunch at Panera (we also went there last week). They have Mac N Cheese which I love!

A few other highlights of the past week included:

Lots of trips to Trader Joe's! They are the best grocery store ever!

Wearing a new outfit that I bought in Denver and buying three new dresses (one maxi I wore for my birthday, one sweater dress, and a crepe '60's mod dress to wear to a wedding). I really love dresses and wedges!

Cuddling with the kitties.

Notes from family and friends.

Breaking Amish

New name badge at Old Navy (I had lost mine weeks ago).

You May or May Not Know

1. I'm obsessed with dresses and wedges.
2. My fave show right now is Breaking Amish (I never watch it on TV, always online).
3. I prefer tea in the morning and coffee in the evening.
4. At any given time, I have 5-10 books next to my bed.
5. I just bought hot pink cowboy boots (I had a pair as a little girl) and am telling myself that I'm in desperate need of more cowboy boots!
6. I've been wanting Panera's Mac N Cheese for about 3 weeks!
7. I don't have the top sheet tucked in on my bed.
8. I don't really like working at a desk. Depending on what house I'm at, I work on the couch or my bed.
9. I'm super organized, yet my bedroom is a complete disaster.
10.  I love sending people handwritten notes and cards.

Monday Blues

Today has not been the best day. I woke up cranky. I was worried about time management and scheduling. Having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

I had to keep remembering that my mood doesn't get to control my day. Despite my loved ones giving me encouragement, hugs, texts, etc. my mood still didn't improve. I am the daughter of a loving God who is with me always and sees my bad days, walking beside me through them. So I need to keep telling myself that, I don't need to be cranky because I am extremely blessed.

My weekend in photos

It was a super tranquilo weekend in the mean streets of Huntington Beach. It started off with lounging on the family room couches with the kitties and Mom while watching TV. Stayed over at the parents on Friday and Saturday night (they went to Pasadena for the night on Friday night). 

Had a much needed low key Saturday. Slept in on Saturday morning. Did my devos out on the hammock followed by some office work. Breakfast for lunch at one of my fave local restaurants, The Sugar Shack (all the cool kids go straight to the back patio). Nail appointment and Skype date with my ladies. Started reorganizing our home office with Mom in the evening and then lounged on the couch and surfed Pinterest for two hours (the time goes by so fast)! We always end up looking at cat photos!

Today was church and Blackberry Bush. Pulled out a super flowy dress and wedges (actually Charissa picked the dress the day before)! Saw my dear friend Janelle and planned some fun girly outings with our Mom's in the next month! I have totally missed that girl! Came home for a nap and dinner and then met the man BFF in the evening. We hadn't seen each other in about a month because we've both been traveling and have been crazy busy. He likes to swipe my iPhone and leave crazy videos on it when I'm not paying attention.

All in all, I am one incredibly blessed lady! Here's to the start of another crazy week!