Tuesday, January 28, 2014


You are everywhere.

You are the guy that walked into the living room one late summer evening and changed everything.
You are the one I knew was the one.
You are the one who knows how to make me laugh like no other.
You are in the email my Dad sent to us yesterday and the one from your Grandmother this morning.
You are in the text to your Dad this afternoon.
You are in the eyes of the little girl that I see in my dreams that I know is our daughter.
You are hundreds of shared inside jokes.
You are the answer to lots of prayers and the reason for tons more.
You are in hundreds of memories and photographs.
You are the one that makes my face light up when you enter the room.
You are the one I always want to sit next to, especially at church.
You are shared beliefs and values.
You are in the tons of mutual friends we have that always ask how you are.
You are tons of songs on my iPhone that are to hard to listen to.
You are the reminder from yesterday's sermon that made me cry this morning.

You are the space I desperately know that I need right now, but is simultaneously so painful.
You are the one that is unknowingly making me work on forgiveness right now.
You are the one that I will always fight for.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

My Amen Girl

My Dear Amen Girl,

I want you to know just how much I love you. How I've loved you since before you were born. How Jesus loves you and has been giving me glimpses of you way before you were born. How the Holy Spirit has placed you in my dreams for a very long time.

Let me tell you about two of those dreams.

Your Daddy really likes the piano. He's really good at it too. One particular dream you were sitting alongside your Daddy at a piano. Neither of you knew that I was watching you from behind. Your Dad was playing piano for you and showing you how to play piano and the two of you were doing lots of giggling. My heart was full and happy watching you two.

The second dream I had you were a tiny baby, about six months old, dressed in a grey and purple striped onesie. You and I were at church sitting with your Oma and you were in a baby carrier. Your Grandpa was preaching and the entire time you were babbling on as little babies do. Your Oma and I kept hearing you babble one word over and over, "Amen" and we kept laughing. After a bit, your Grandpa picked you up, smiled at you and kept on preaching while you were babbling in agreement with what he had to say.

How did you come to get the name, "Amen Girl"? When I told my dear friend Lori about this dream, she said, ""You can pray for the little "amen girl" now." This was long before you were born, long before your Daddy and I were married. All this time, you have been my "Amen Girl". All this time, I have prayed for you, my sweet girl.

I pray you grow to love Jesus as your Dad and I do. That you trust Him and know that He speaks to you and that you will put Him first in your life all of your days.

Yours forever,